Establishing boundaries is not an easy thing to do. Sometimes it is hard to tell people no or to try not to people please. It is important to set healthy limits so you don’t become burnt out. Here are 10 tough but important steps to help you establish boundaries.
Think About the Reasons for Your Boundaries
It is important to think about the why for your boundaries. Why are you setting them? Then comes the how. How can setting your boundaries help you emotionally? Asking yourself these questions can help set you up for boundary making success.
Slowly Build Up Boundaries
If you have never set boundaries before, then setting a lot at one time will probably be overwhelming. It is best to slowly build up, making sure you are comfortable with the ones you have built. Slow and steady will make it easier for you to analyze your new boundaries and see if you need to make any changes to them.
Set Boundaries Early
Setting boundaries to existing relationships can be hard. But if you set them early enough in new relationships, that might be easier to handle. Having set boundaries early on, everyone involved in the relationship will know exactly where they stand and this could mean there is less likely a chance for feelings to get hurt.
Have Consistency With Your Boundaries
Making sure you keep your boundaries in place is important. If you let boundaries slide for one person, and not for the other, then there is no consistency. Hold firm on your boundaries and make sure they are consistent for everyone. This will avoid confusion.
Make Time for Yourself
One of the best things you can do when setting boundaries is to make time for yourself. This could be you doing anything you want, alone, for an hour or two. It’s nothing personal to those you love, but you just need to set aside some time to be by yourself.
Don’t Be Scared To Have Extra Boundaries
There are some boundaries already set for us, like in the workplace. These are usually the bare minimum, so consider adding your own. It is okay to do this and it might even be beneficial to your work.
Set Healthy Social Media Boundaries
Just because social media is online, doesn’t mean it has to cross your boundaries. Oversharing is a huge issue on social media, and you could be worrying that someone you are close to overshares sensitive information that you don’t want the world to know. If a boundary is set in your actual life, then it still counts for social media.
Let People Know When Boundaries Are Crossed
It is important to let someone know when they have crossed your boundaries. You can politely tell them that the line has been crossed — there is no need for confrontation. Communication is key. It is best to make sure the person knows exactly where you stand.
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Engage in Self-Love and Activities You Enjoy
Being kind to yourself is necessary for setting boundaries. If you don’t have confidence in yourself, then you will not be able to keep your set boundaries. To help with feeling good about yourself, do activities that you enjoy. This can be yoga, dancing, biking, reading, or writing. Just do something that can help you practice self-love.
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Have Some Perspective on Your Boundaries
Thinking about your boundaries is a good idea. However, overthinking about them can be unhealthy and mess with your mindset. You can have set boundaries but don’t obsess over making sure you follow them all the time. Most boundaries are intuitive and easy to maneuver even when you don’t think too hard about them.
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