Want to win an argument, but know you’re not good at conflict? There are ways to win any argument with anyone that allows both parties to walk away with their self-respect. And remember, you don’t have to change the other person’s mind; you only have to get them to concede. Here are ten winning strategies you can employ right away.
10. Focus on What’s Important
Plan your argument. Ask yourself what is the most important thing you want to gain. You may not have to change the other person’s mind, but simply get them to understand your point of view. Conflict doesn’t have to be negative. You can use your argument as an opportunity to enhance and strengthen the bond you have with the other person.
9. Test Out Your Ideas With a Neutral Party
We often can be so close to a scenario that it’s hard for us to be objective about it. It may be helpful to present the dilemma and your argument to a neutral party. They may be in a better position to understand if you’re overreacting. They can also advise you on whether they feel your argument is sound.
8. Wait Until the Right Time and Place
Ideally, you want to hold your discussion with the other party at a location where the two of you can be alone without other distractions. Outdoors might even work as long as you can be sufficiently away from other people. Choose a time when you and the other party are unhurried and have the time to listen and focus.
7. Arrange a Face-to-Face Discussion
Important discussions are never well-suited to email, texting, or phone. Nuances are missed, and it’s too easy to misinterpret. Face-to-face is the best. If that’s not possible, a virtual chat that allows you to see one another could suffice. Face-to-face is important because facial expressions and body language say a lot in sincere conversations.
6. Use “I” Statements to Frame Your Argument
A well-known tactic used for communication between couples can also be applied to any argument. Rather than frame your argument and statements with the word “you,” which can be viewed as accusatory, use the word “I” instead. This communicates only your perceptions of the situation and how it affects you rather than piling assumptions upon the other person.
5. Stop and Listen to the Other Person’s Point of View
Listening is the most important skill for communication. It’s vital to listen and truly hear what the other person has to say. This will allow you to identify where you are aligned with the other person. You can leverage what you have in agreement to help remedy what you disagree on.
4. Anticipate the Other Person’s Objections
A popular saying is, “The best offense is a good defense.” Advertisers apply this technique expertly. Essentially, it’s the idea of anticipating the other party’s objections and having rebuttals prepared for all of them. This allows you to make your case no matter what they say. It can help to find a neutral party to help you brainstorm.
3. Avoid Verbal and Nonverbal Attacks
Psychological studies have shown that verbal attacks and negative body language are both counterproductive when it comes to arguments. These will only serve to make the other party angry. Therefore, it’s important to watch not only what you say but also how you hold yourself and express your feelings without words.
2. Be Willing and Ready to Make Small Concessions
Again, know what’s important and what you want to gain. You may not get everything you want. But you may get most of what you want. It’s important to be willing to make small concessions. Think about what might be a “win-win” situation that both of you can live with. Keep an open mind and have an alternative backup plan.
1. Be Nice After Winning, Don’t Gloat
If you win the argument, don’t focus only on the present moment. A victory shouldn’t mean “burning bridges” behind you. Ideally, winning should strengthen your bond with the other person and increase mutual respect. You may have future disagreements. You may not win the next one. Treat them the way you’d wish to be treated if you’d lost the argument.
Read More: Psychologist Explains the Most Effective Way to Change Someone’s Mind
