10 Wellness Products That Are Just Expensive Placebos

The wellness industry is booming, and with it comes a tidal wave of products promising better sleep, glowing skin, endless energy, and inner peace. But let’s be real—not all of them live up to the hype, and some are just fancy-looking items that do little more than make you feel like you’re doing something good.

Sure, there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself to a little self-care. But if you’re spending big bucks on something that’s all packaging and no punch, it might be time to rethink what’s actually worth your money. Here are 10 wellness products that are probably more placebo than powerhouse.

10. Crystal Water Bottles

water bottle with crystals
Pexels

They look cool and feel very vibe-y, but there’s zero science behind crystals “charging” your water. You’re basically just drinking out of an overpriced bottle with a shiny rock inside.

9. Collagen Gummies

Collagen Gummies in a bottle
Unsplash

Tasty? Yes. Life-changing skin or joint benefits? Not so much. Most of the collagen you eat gets broken down before it can do anything noticeable.

8. Detox Teas

Detox Tea in a bowl
Flickr

They promise to flush out toxins and boost metabolism, but most of them just send you running to the bathroom. Spoiler: your liver and kidneys already handle detoxing just fine.

7. Chakra-Aligning Essential Oil Rollers

Essential Oils for Chakras
Unsplash

Smell nice? Definitely. Actually balance your chakras? Highly debatable. You’re better off with a nice candle and a deep breath.

6. High-Tech Sleep Trackers

High-Tech Sleep Trackers
Flickr

They monitor your sleep patterns with impressive-looking charts, but the advice is often vague and not all that helpful. Plus, stressing over sleep data can actually make your sleep worse.

5. Alkaline Water

Truth Alkaline Water bottle
Wikimedia Commons

The idea is that it balances your body’s pH, but your body already does that on its own. You’re just paying more for water with a marketing twist.

4. Face Yoga Devices

Woman doing face yoga exercise
Pexels

These gadgets claim to sculpt and lift your face, but most of the benefits are short-lived and subtle at best. A solid skincare routine and sunscreen will take you further.

3. Infrared Sauna Blankets

infrared sauna blanket
Amazon

They promise detox, weight loss, and muscle recovery—all from your couch. In reality, you’re just sweating in a very expensive sleeping bag.

Read More: How Modern Sports Science Would Supercharge These 10 NFL Legends

2. Wellness Patches

herbal wellness patches
Amazon

Stick-on patches that claim to boost energy, calm your mind, or help you sleep? They might feel high-tech, but the science behind them is sketchy at best.

Read More: Turn Your Healthy Lifestyle into a Wellness Career

1. Goop Vibes-Enhancing Products

goop beauty products
Amazon

From psychic vampire repellent to “energy clearing” sprays, some Goop products sound like plot points from a sci-fi wellness spoof. If nothing else, they prove the placebo effect is alive and well—and very expensive.

Read More: 7 Career Paths for a Health and Wellness Degree

Related Articles
Wade Boggs
The Hot Corner: MLB’s Greatest Third Basemen
Explore the qualities and stories that set MLB third basemen apart as they navigate the pressures of...
Read More
Shane Lechler
Quiet Kings: How NFL Punters Changed the Game
NFL punters rarely get the spotlight, but the best in history changed the game with precision, power,...
Read More
Harley Davidson "Fat Boy"
Harley-Davidson’s Timeless Evolution: The Best Motorcycles Ever Made
Ride through the fascinating history of Harley-Davidson motorcycles, where heritage meets cutting-edge...
Read More

As an Amazon Associate, The Quick Report earns from qualifying purchases.

Part of the Castaway Studios media network.