You know the drill: you’re exhausted, crawl into bed, and your brain starts acting like it just downed a double espresso. The more you lie there, trying to force yourself to sleep, the more restless you feel. Minutes stretch into hours, and before you know it, you’re staring at the ceiling, wide awake and frustrated.
Here’s the twist: the problem might not be that you’re awake. The real issue could be that you’re staying in bed while you are. What if the best way to sleep is to stop trying so hard? It turns out that sleep science says getting up might be exactly what your body needs.
The Science Behind Why You Should Get Up
It might seem counterintuitive, but staying in bed when not falling asleep can train your brain to associate your bed with wakefulness. This undermines the whole idea of your bedroom being a place of rest. According to sleep specialists, if you’ve been lying awake for more than 15–20 minutes, it’s better to get up and do something relaxing in low light.
Think of it like a reset button for your brain. You’re breaking the frustration cycle when you step out of the bedroom—even just to another room—and read a book or listen to calming music. Your brain isn’t stuck in that “why am I not sleeping?” spiral. And when you return to bed, it feels like a new opportunity to fall asleep, not a battleground of sleepless nights.
Things to avoid during this mini-break from bed:
- Bright lights (they signal your brain to wake up)
- Screens (blue light can suppress melatonin)
- Stimulating activities (like replying to emails or scrolling social media)
Instead, try:
- Reading something light (preferably paper, not digital)
- Journaling to clear your mind
- Listening to soft music or white noise
The goal is to do something calming that doesn’t get you too engaged.
Read More: The 10 Foods Most Likely to Sabotage Your Sleep
Why Forcing Sleep Doesn’t Work
Trying to “force” sleep is like putting yourself into a good mood—it usually backfires. The more pressure you put on yourself, the more alert and anxious you become. That stress triggers your fight-or-flight system, which is the opposite of the relaxed state you must be in to drift off.
Imagine telling someone, “Don’t think about pink elephants.” What happens? Exactly. Telling yourself “I have to sleep now” is the same: you create tension, which is the enemy of rest.
Letting go of that pressure is one of your most effective tools. By getting up and doing something gentle, you’re not giving up on sleep—you’re giving yourself space to fall into it naturally.
Read More: 10 Ways to Turn into a Morning Person
Rebuilding a Healthy Sleep Relationship
Over time, getting up instead of staying stuck in bed can reshape your relationship with sleep. Your brain associates your bed with restful, successful sleep, rather than restless frustration. This slight behavioral shift can be beneficial for people who experience chronic insomnia or nighttime anxiety.
You can also reinforce a stronger sleep connection by:
- Going to bed and waking up at the same time every day
- Using your bed only for sleep (and intimacy)
- Creating a wind-down routine an hour before bed
The key is consistency. Sleep isn’t just something that happens—it’s something we set the stage for. And sometimes, that means walking away from it before it can truly settle in.
Feeling stuck in a sleepless loop doesn’t mean you’re powerless. Next time you’re wide awake at 2 a.m., remember: getting up might be the best thing you can do to fall asleep.
Read More: Sleep Better With this Bedtime Routine
