The 10 Most Painfully Boring MLB Players to Watch (Sorry, Not Sorry)

Baseball is a beautiful game full of iconic moments, dramatic comebacks, and jaw-dropping athleticism. But let’s be real: not every player brings that kind of energy to the diamond. 

Some guys may have solid stats or be beloved in their clubhouse, but it’s like watching paint dry—slow, dull, and occasionally soul-crushing when they’re on your screen. So here’s our subjective, possibly controversial ranking of the 10 most painfully boring players to watch in Major League Baseball.

10. Anthony Rendon

Anthony Rendon
Wikimedia Commons

Once a star, now just a reminder that vibes matter more than WAR sometimes. It feels like he checked out in 2020, and somehow, we’re all still forced to care.

9. Eric Hosmer

Eric Hosmer
Flickr

He’s not on a team right now, but that feels right. The man could make a groundout to second look like a mid-season nap.

8. Jameson Taillon

Jameson Taillon
Wikimedia Commons

He’s not bad, but watching him pitch feels like reading the directions on a microwave dinner—technically necessary but not remotely thrilling. Nothing says “skip to the next game,” like a fourth inning full of meh.

7. Brandon Nimmo

Brandon Nimmo
Flickr

Sure, he sprints to first base on a walk, but does anything about his game make you feel anything? It’s giving gym class try-hard energy without any of the excitement.

6. Carlos Santana

Carlos Santana
Wikipedia

He’s been around forever and somehow hasn’t aged a day—but his style of play has. Watching him at the plate feels like waiting in line at the DMV, slow and oddly soul-sucking.

5. Chris Bassitt

Chris Bassitt
Wikimedia Commons

He’s a reliable arm who throws 14 different pitches, yet every outing feels like a beige wallpaper of a start. You respect it, but you also never want to see it again.

4. Whit Merrifield

Whit Merrifield
Flickr

There’s just something about a guy who’s perpetually fine. There are no highs, no lows, just a never-ending loop of “oOhcool, another single.”

3. Kyle Gibson

Kyle Gibson
Wikimedia Commons

He’s the human embodiment of a four-hour game with no runs and 14 pitching changes. It’s not actively bad, just aggressively bland.

2. Martín Maldonado

Martín Maldonado
Wikipedia

He’s a “defensive specialist,” code for “close your eyes when he’s at the plate.” It’s a guaranteed buzzkill in any rally.

Read More: Ranking the 15 Most Overdramatic Players in MLB History

1. Harrison Bader

Harrison Bader
Wikimedia Commons

The speed! The defense! The… total lack of anything remotely entertaining at the plate. Watching him bat feels like MLB’s version of buffering.

Read More: Ranking the 20 Most Fun Players to Watch in MLB Right Now

Related Articles
Lebron James illustration
Why the GOAT Debate is Destructive to Sports Fan Culture
The sports world thrives on controversy and passion, but our relentless obsession with “Greatest...
Read More
Caitlin Clark
Caitlin Clark, Fever Labeled 'Championship Contender' by WNBA Legend
Caitlin Clark is gearing up for her sophomore WNBA season, and expectations are already sky-high. After...
Read More
Go Bucs
NFL Most Underrated: Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ Emergent Star Named by PFF
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers finished the 2024 season with impressive defensive numbers. Top 10 in total...
Read More

As an Amazon Associate, The Quick Report earns from qualifying purchases.

Part of the Castaway Studios media network.